Being overly controlling in a relationship can be a quick way to deteriorate a couple and your health. Insider spoke to Dr. Melissa Robinson-Brown and Dr. Nanika Coor about how to spot if you’re being overly critical and how to address it in your relationship. Major signs that you might be too controlling of your partner include always criticizing them, never complimenting them, constant conflict, having difficulty trusting people, and getting worried whenever they don’t do exactly what you want. Taking accountability for the hurt you might have caused, trying to be more flexible with your partner, and finding the positives in yourself and in your partner can be great steps to healing.Visit Insider’s homepage for more stories.
Being in an overly controlling relationship can be bad for you and your partner, not just in how you feel but in your physical health, according to a recent study. Sometimes, though, it can be hard to tell if you’re being too critical of your partner, whether you mean to be or not. According to Dr. Melissa Robinson-Brown, a New York City-based clinical psychologist for Renewed Focus Psychology Services, sometimes the need to control a relationship comes from a lack of control in other areas of a person’s life. “When individuals feel a lack of control in other areas of life such as a job with a critical boss, struggles with eating and weight loss, or poor relationships with family, they may feel more convicted in their need to control things in their relationship,” Robinson-Brown said.
Insider spoke to Robinson-Brown and Dr. Nanika Coor, a clinical psychologist and parent therapist for Brooklyn Parent Therapy, about four signs that you’re being overly critical of your partner and four ways to address it in your relationship.